Fret not, though, even
if you are thinking of dating someone with kids, for that's just what we are here for – to give you
useful, practical and workable tips for dating someone with kids! Take a look at the top 5 tips
from our relationship management experts – and get your love-life grooving on the right track,
too!
Understand that the
dating game is equally tough for singles as it for those with kids, if
not more complex for
the latter group since when there are kids in the picture, things can
take a whole new
perspective on what it means to go out, spend time alone or even do
plan dates when it
means to have the kids to take care of. So, a potential partner, if you
are interested in
someone with kids, you need to display sensitivity towards the issue of
dating someone who has
their responsibility on her/his head without making them feel
you do not appreciate
the situation. With time, effort and patience, dating someone with
kids can be a great
experience as long as you ensure their feelings are taken into
consideration too.
Not all romantic
relationships involving children in the background need to end in failure;
if handled maturely
with the feelings of all considered, the relationship can teach new
things about the
relationship and the personalities of all people involved to everyone who
plays an important
role in the dating game. Arrange to meet your date's children at a
suitable time, though
not necessarily on the first date, but perhaps when you know
things are progressing
to another level for both of you and the children should be in the
know, too. You may
prefer the parent of the kid/s to disclose the dating scene to the kids
as they may not take
too well to the 'stranger' telling them something Mom or Dad
should be allowing
them in on.
If things have gotten
serious and marriage is being discussed, it is definitely time to let
the kids in on the
deal; do not rush into blurting out the decision to marry, but take time
out to meet your
partner’s kids, get to know them and make plans that include them as
well in the arrangements
as far as you can manage. This will take away from any
feelings of hurt,
helplessness or being side-lined as far as your partner's kids may well
be experiencing for
themselves.
Work to eliminate any
feelings of resentment,
doubts and other negative emotions in the
partner's kids with
you being in the picture and reassure them you are not trying to usurp
their natural parent's
position (if missing due to divorce, death or other reasons) by that your
partner (their parent) makes you happy and that's what you'd like to share with
them too.
Do not attempt to take
the place of the absent parent in your partner's life as the kids involved
may resent this kind
of intrusion or presumptuousness on your part when you are trying to bond
with them. Instead,
allow them to talk freely, share their feelings with you on the dating topic
and
others interests in
their lives and clearly establish boundaries about mutual respect and love,
discipline and how
future decisions are to be made.
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